Songs of Waiting

Not Dating and Waiting

I don’t know if you’re a new reader and know nothing about me, or if you know some details of my love life, but I’ll briefly share. I am 24 years old and I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I’m waiting until marriage. Purity is very special to me, and I want to encourage others that it is possible to wait until marriage. There, you’re all caught up! **Please note that this post is written from my own experience and what I’ve learned to be true for myself.**

Yes, you read that correctly. I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve been on one double-date, one coffee date, and one ice cream date. I have crossed lines that shouldn’t have been crossed, but by the grace of God I have been able to come back over the line real quick (which gives me some say in this “save sex for marriage” topic).

I never wanted to date just for fun. Even since my teenage years, my fragile and hopeful romantic heart never wanted dating to be something I did just to do. I know this is where my super single self came from. Because I didn’t want to just date anyone, my standards were raised and I became picky. I was so determined to marry the first guy I dated that I shut down everyone who asked. A time came, though, when I figured I might as well give it a chance. My first “date” with a guy came two years ago. Then ice cream a few months after that with another guy, and a few months ago was coffee with another guy. After my third “date” (that awkward moment when third time’s not a charm) I was even more convinced that dating is not for me. It’s just not.

Someone made a comment that I’ve only been able to wait until marriage because I don’t date. This is both very true and not true at all. It’s true in the sense that I don’t date because I am waiting. How many people do you meet that are waiting until marriage? I mean, it’s not something you talk about with everyone you meet, but there are certain characteristics that show and you know whether or not that person is on the same page as you. I’m looking for someone pure, even from the beginning, and it’s hard. To be very real with you, not every Christian you meet, male or female, wants to wait until marriage; keep that in mind.

I don’t date on purpose. Yes, I would love to have someone, but I truly believe that all the interactions I’ve had with men haven’t gone passed the “getting to know each other” phase because I am literally being kept for my husband. I’m saving myself for marriage, but God is keeping me.

Maybe I won’t marry my first boyfriend, but in this singleness I am learning so much and I am being strengthened in ways my lonely teenage heart could never imagine. But that’s what happens when you give your love life to Jesus.

However, the comment is not true because I have crossed lines and I’m still waiting. It doesn’t matter if I was dating the guy or not (I wasn’t) because the temptation was there, and in that moment I had a choice to make like Joseph and flee, or give in. The only reason I can say that I’m still waiting is because I was empowered to stop and turn around before I kept going.

That is why the comment is not true. I’m waiting not because I’m not dating, but because of the Holy Spirit who empowers me and helps me.

It sounds a little weird talking about the Holy Spirit and waiting until marriage, but you guys, the Holy Spirit lives in us, so who do you think whispered to me, maybe yelled, while I was crossing lines? The Holy Spirit! How do we overcome the flesh? The Holy Spirit!

Maybe you can date and still wait, or maybe you don’t want to date because you know it’ll be harder to wait. Either way, you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, and He empowers you. My purity journey might and probably does look different from yours, but the heart is the same.

Keep your heart anchored to God and He will keep you. Waiting until marriage takes a lot of prayer, reading the Bible, and making intentional, Spirit-led decisions. If it means ending your ice cream date early because you know that person is not for you, then end the date early. When I meet a guy I’m interested in, I ask God to give me a yes or no and He’ll usually give me an answer right away. Ice cream guy was a quick “no” but your girl here didn’t listen and it was uncomfortably awkward. Line-cross guy was also a “no” but it wasn’t a quick no; it was a no that looks like yes, but you know it’s no.

So seek the Lord about your love life, but also listen to Him. He’s the one who knit you together with beautiful and unique detail.

Give your heart to its Creator

See you next week,

Love, Sarah Lynn

Jesus, I thank You for Your grace and Holy Spirit who empowers us to live in the path of purity. Speak to the hearts of the readers. I pray that You give us the spirit of wisdom and understanding as we hide our hearts in You. As we seek You during this time of waiting let it become more than just waiting until marriage, but being so completely in love and intimate with You. Your love is incomparable, and I pray that kind of love would be what fills our hearts and lives. Amen.

Dear Reader, I am so excited to post in SOW again! It was two weeks too long. Please like and share to help spread the message of purity. Thank you for your support!

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3 thoughts on “Not Dating and Waiting”

  1. Praise the Lord. Wise young lady! You saving yourself a lot of heartaches the same time. Trust me. If you find yourself tempted, read my “autobiography” on my blog. No one taught me the why, they just said ” don’t”. Rules without reasons are essentially a dare.

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