I was never vocal about waiting until marriage. No one knew, not even my closest friends. They knew I refrain, but they didn’t know I was intentionally waiting until marriage. I don’t remember how the conversations came up, but eventually they did. This is not a topic one wants to tell the world, and it can feel like you’re alone, but know that you are not alone.
I felt very much alone, especially in high school with sex talks/jokes, and I can only imagine how young girls feel now; which is one of my strongest motivators to write these posts. I knew I wanted to wait, and I was sure going to be picky, but I needed direction and I needed support. I needed to know that I wasn’t attempting to do the impossible and setting myself up for failure.
As the years went on, I realized that I am not the only one waiting until marriage, and people are actually very supportive. The time came when my naivety was countered with real-life situations and I had to stick to my guns. Realizing that I was not all alone trying to keep myself pure in sex-crazed world was quite the game-changer for me.
Here are three reasons we’re not alone that I’ve learned throughout the years.
Friends. Once I actually shared this with friends, it was great. They were supportive, and some actually ended up as accountability partners. We must take into account that I have a lot of women friends in my church, and they have all been amazing. They pray, give godly wisdom, and hold me accountable. Therefore, I advise you confide in mature Christians about this.
All that being said though, you need to be careful who you share this with. Not every one will support you and you will receive some hate for it.
The boyfriend. It takes two. It takes two to engage and it takes two to refrain. Find someone who protects your purity, not preys on it. I do not have much dating experience, but I can tell you that I have seen a vast difference in Christian men between the ones who will push lines and conflict with you, and the ones who value purity. The latter is rare, but he does exist, so wait for him.
The Holy Spirit. In my naivety, I never realized how spiritual sex actually is. In a future post we will discuss how sex is a soul tie, but for now I will keep it simple. God desires purity from His people, and a big part of this is sexual purity. There are so many verses on sexual purity, and I encourage you to study them. God calls us to holiness, to a life of living set-apart for Him, and sexual purity is a form of that holiness.
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in a passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7
So as I learned more about sexual purity, and the desire to wait until marriage became stronger, I lifted this up before the Lord. I prayed about it, I told Him about it, and I studied it. As those real-life situations showed up, I felt nudges of the Holy Spirit. Conviction will come quick, even in seemingly unimportant situations. This is everything from, “do not give that guy your number,” to “get out of this situation.”
The Holy Spirit is with you. He is in you. Lean in to the Holy Spirit and He will guide you and empower you. When I became serious before the Lord about waiting until marriage, it changed so much for me. I have the support of my friend’s and I have my standards, but it’s the Holy Spirit who keeps me from crossing lines.
In any area of waiting, you are not alone nor will you ever be alone. It is difficult. Temptation is all around us, but you are never alone. Remember that God will always provide a way of escape when you’re tempted, just be aware of what that is and follow it.
Until next time,
Love, Sarah Lynn
God, I thank You for Your promises of faithfulness; that You will never leave us. I thank You for the people you send to us to reflect your faithfulness, mercy, love, and grace. I thank You for the empowerment You give us to overcome temptations and lusts of the flesh. I lift up before You every person reading this who desires purity. Keep them on the path of purity, speak to their heart, and help them through this journey. We trust You and ask, above all, Your will to be done in our lives. Amen.
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Love, Sarah Lynn 